What’s good?

Today while giving a Reiki session, the words, “What’s good?” came into my head. As I wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, save the feel of the energy, I knew it was an important message. 

I said to my client, who is struggling with ongoing guilt, that in every situation is an opportunity for us to find the good in it. Even when things suck. Even when something feels terrible, that’s only our assessment of it, and we can choose to find the good. 

So – at first, asking “What’s good?” might ilicit a snarky, “Nothing! This sucks!” comeback from our mind. But then, ask again. “What’s good?” What possible good can be found in this situation?

Begrudgingly, the mind may offer something small. It might start with, “Well, at least it wasn’t worse.” It might be, “I got through it somehow.” It might even be followed by the word, “but” and a reiteration of the tough side of things again, as if it’s necessary to reaffirm the bad part. It’s funny how we tend to cling to the bad as if it’s giving us bragging rights. 

Again, though, come back to, “What’s good?” And there may be more that you can think of. Maybe something you’ve learned from the experience. Maybe some experience you can share with someone else so they don’t suffer as you did. Maybe you’re wiser, smarter, or stronger because of this experience. These are all good things. 

The more we focus on the good, the more we feel goodness is the focus of our lives. The suffering shrinks in comparison eventually, as we spend more time seeking, finding, acknowledging, and then being grateful for those good things.

And that moves us toward a more enlightened way to live.

Wishing you all good things.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

How Being Spiritual Puts the Soul in Sex

Getting in touch with your spiritual side can enhance your sexual experiences too. Here’s why.

First, let’s talk about the spiritual connection. Practicing any sort of spiritual practice – such as meditation, Reiki, energy healing practices of other kinds, etc. makes you aware of something outside yourself that is also connected to yourself. 

More than that, this spiritual energy that you’re connected with is ALSO you. That’s the Duality of Being. (And also the Unity.) What I mean here is that we are all one, conscious energy that is having an individual experience. Every life form on the planet, every plant, animal and person, is having a conscious, individual experience, and is connected to each other at the very same time. 

If you’re still with me, you may be wondering why a singular conscious energy would want a zillion or so different individual experiences. That’s where it gets interesting. The illusion of an individual experience is for experiencing and learning

If the One energy source was only that, it would not be able to learn or experience anything. In order to experience anything, that experience is a reaction to something outside ourselves. If it’s outside ourselves, it is not perceived as us. Even if we experience pain in our stomachs, that pain feels like something “other” than our “normal” selves. Experience is a reaction. 

Now, becoming aware of being both an individual experience and something much, much bigger is a powerfully spiritual experience. It allows us to step outside ourselves to see our individual emotions from a more objective perspective. We can analyze our experiences without them defining us. 

By now, you’re probably wondering what the heck this has to do with sex. I will get there. Hang with me for another moment.

When we are able to step outside of ourselves and observe the ways in which we interact in this illusionary reality, we are living as our true aspect – that of Spirit. We are not caught up in the storm of emotions or the trappings of ego. What is Spirit really? Love. Pure love. That’s what the One energy source that is our true essence is made of.

So, in a nutshell, we are Love experiencing and learning by completely empathizing with each individual consciousness. We are capable of shifting our perspective through meditation, for example, to be that One consciousness, and send love to our little individual selves as we live, learn, and try to make sense of everything we are experiencing. 

We can also have compassion for other people, and empathize with them. That is a beautiful quality, a spiritual one. It makes the world better. 

And here, finally, is the connection to sex. Good job making it this far. 

The more we are aware of this spiritual connection throughout the day, the more we connect with the essences of it – gratitude, love, compassion – in short, the more we elevate our existence in this way, then the more our lovemaking naturally becomes influenced by this idea. Because, the natural compassion we are used to having extends to the lover during that time.

If we focus on our partner during sex, paying close attention to how the partner is responding to touch of every kind, and adjusting our touch to what is obviously pleasurable to the partner, we are empathizing with that person as that person is experiencing it. We, ourselves, can share their pleasure while participating in creating it. In doing so, we are experiencing being spiritually one with that person – creating a much higher level of lovemaking.

The soul of sensuality is very spiritual.

And that’s the message I got today.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

46- My Birthday Tattoo

It’s my birthday!

Today also marks 8 years of blogging. 

Every year, I blog on my birthday. It helps me look back over the past birthday posts to see where I was, and realize what an amazing year it’s been – and then I think about how I’ll look back next year and be even more amazed.

In year 45, these things happened:
  • I published 5 books.
  • I started and completed the first part (Bachelor’s degree) of a Metaphysical Ph. D program with the University of Sedona.
  • I started an author website for myself (AliceLangholt.com).
  • I became certified to officiate weddings (I’m booked for two weddings in 2016!)
  • I created a new idea to make 2016 more meaningful for everyone.
  • One daughter became a Bat Mitzvah (I threw the party – that was a lot of planning!)
  • Another daughter spent a month at Brandeis University over the summer.
  • I made it through a season as a Marching Band Mom.
  • My son started going to a magnet middle school for the highly gifted student.
  • I went to Iowa on a Transcendental Meditation Retreat.
  • I was in a musical with all four kids and my husband.
  • And lots, lots more. What an amazing year!!

I also started realizing some deep, spiritual things about life. That’s the biggest part for me. My studies, and introspection, have led me to understand that there is a true essence of who we are. This true essence is not our thoughts, not our feelings, not our bodies. It’s not our experiences, or even our gifts and talents. All of those are like clouds- they pass along. What stays? What is underneath all of that? The part that’s left is the part that I am when I’m offering Reiki to another person – because that’s the part that connects us all to each other. It’s not a part, really, it’s the real me. Bigger than any perception of individuality.

And so, I ask myself, what IS this real me made of? What characteristics does it have? It is not emotions, thoughts, or matter. What IS it? 

Love. It’s love. 

I know this because from a deep, spiritual place of knowing, comes the understanding that Love is what heals. Love is what soothes. Love is what we are when we’re doing and being our very best selves. 

A few months ago, I woke in the morning with the words, “Live Love” in my mind. I turned those words over and over. The real me is Love, so that’s who should live AS me. This Love, it’s infinite. 

I started to think of a design. An infinity sign, with the words Live Love entwined at the “v”. I sketched it out, and sent it to a graphic artist.

Yesterday, I got my first (and probably my only) tattoo. I did this because I want to wear my biggest, strongest insight and value. I want it to remind me daily, in its beauty and message, of who I am, so I can always come back to BEing Love.

Here it is (this is a real picture of my arm, with fresh tattoo):
My first tattoo.
It stung a bit, but didn’t hurt as much as I was afraid it might. I have also been applying Reiki liberally to help it heal, along with the other care instructions my artist gave me.

Something even nicer is that my husband, Evan, got his first tattoo too. He got an OM symbol, chosen for the same basic reason – because he meditates, and the word OM represents the sound that is all things – the infinite. This is his own way of expressing it. We both got tattoos placed a couple inches below the wrist. And we did it together. So we’re sharing another bonding experience – and I love that.

Immediately after getting the tattoo, I met a new Reiki client at my office for a session. It was wonderful for us both. Last night, I took my daughters out to dinner (the guys were volunteering for the Salvation Army Angels and then at the basketball game at Verizon Center). Right before I paid the tab, an amount just more than my tab arrived in my paypal account. I was blessed, at the perfect time, with the opportunity to send a distance healing. 

So far, 46 is turning out to be an epic year. 
Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

For those who’d hunt the lion hunter

I’m getting up on my soapbox now, because I’m disturbed. Here goes:

If you allow anger at a hunter to make you into a hunter, how are you any better than the hunter himself? 

Here’s a question. Dig down deep and see if you can hear an answer. How would Love respond? How can we model for our children an appropriate way to deal with righteous indignation and outrage? Here’s a hint: not by supporting vigilante justice, and not by encouraging violence against the perpetrator.

Publishing his address all over the net, death threats against him, his family, and his staff…those doing this have become hunters themselves. I’m disturbed by all of you. 

Let’s do better, people. This is not what our country is about, not what we are trying to preach. This is not what we, as people who want more kindness in the world, are here to do.

Frankly, is this the way we want to be treated if we do something that someone else decides is deplorable? How would we want to be treated if we massively fucked up?

I’m not in any way condoning what he did. I agree that what he did was awful in every way.

I’m asking everyone to stop and think of the best way to respond which models the ethical behavior we are trying to promote.

Got any suggestions? Please comment here.

Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt

Change Your Life and Fix Your Relationships in 30 Seconds

Well, it’s 2015. And already, a lot has happened in my life. (And, warning, this is a super link-happy post. So, click on whatever you want to know more about.)

So, how did I do that? Sometimes I wonder. 
What did I learn so far? A lot!
The biggest lesson is that even the busiest person can find 30 seconds to do something that changes their day, their relationship, outlook, physical health, presence, and grow as a person. Really, 30 seconds.
We, as a society, are busy. I mean REALLY FREAKING BUSY. I know I’m not the exception, but lots of people are as busy as I am trying to keep it all together. 
So, I started by brainstorming 30 second ways to pay attention to mind, body, spirit, and emotion with mini-tasks. I made 36 cards, and then challenged myself to make 365 more for a daily calendar. (And I made a free app! Want it? Click here.) And a free daily email. Dang, that’s a lot.
Then, I moved on to motherhood. Moms are such carriers of responsibility! They’re busy. Real busy. What am I talking about by saying “they”?? We’re busy.  Anyway, yeah. Coming up with 101 Moments for Mom was a good lesson for myself too.
Then, I moved on to relationships. There really are 30 second ways to make a relationship closer, more loving, and more fulfilling. I came up with 101 ways and made them into a book. Two students asked me to make the book into a deck of cards, which, of course I did, it is currently in the graphic design process, and will be available in a few more days. I’m going to actually try all of the ideas with my husband. (I’m sure I’ll need to remind him and maybe nag a little at first, but I think it will become a good habit for us.) I could feel the potential lasting power in each task as I wrote them.
With Valentine’s Day around the corner, and this 30 second idea on my mind, I decided to really try to explain how this concept could work. To reach the most people in an hour, I’m hosting a free class called 30 Second Self-Care. It’s online this Thursday night, and everyone who attends will be given a 50% off discount code for a signed copy of my new book, A Moment for Us: Care for Busy Couples – 101 free ways couples can enjoy more love, caring and togetherness in 30 seconds
In the class, I’m going to talk about what stops people from taking care of themselves. There are so many things that get in the way, from feeling like there’s no time, to denying that we need it, to trying to feel empowered by pretending we have it all together. I know, because I do every one. I’m trying to change this by putting it out there, and then talking about why and how to change it – in only 30 seconds a day. Come take it. The class is only an hour. And it’s free.
The busiest person can find 30 seconds. The benefit of these tasks last so far beyond 30 seconds, that it can change your entire self-worth, presence, health, abundance, and relationships. 
Want to see how it’s going for two people who are committed to trying this daily? I hired two busy people to try out the calendar, and publicly blog about it every single day of 2015. You can see Doug and Michelle’s journey with 30 seconds a day by reading the comments at the end of each blog post here.
I’m captivated by the idea of 30 seconds, and think I’m onto something. You can expect more in the A Moment for Me series this year – my goal is to write at least 6 books in 2015. I’m also planning to give a Ted Talk on it. It’s gonna happen, my friends, and you read it here first. The details will fall into place, just you wait. Now you and the Universe know. So everything else is already in motion to make it so. 
Got 30 seconds? Sure ya do.

Your comments are so welcome, always.
Reiki Awakening Reiki blog by Alice Langholt